I am alien to my own family, my own brethren, my own flesh and blood.
I live far away.
They persecute me for no reason at all.
One, the eldest, nearly crippled my right knee -- out of jealousy!
I have kept a distance.
A safer distance.
"For my love, they are my adversaries."
I run away from my family when the world is an enemy.
For, they side with those who disagree with me.
It's futile -- for me -- to think of a family as a refuge in time of adversary.
It's safe to be alone.
Safest to suffer alone.
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"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"
Only Father and Mother did love me.
Did love me because both now live in the next life.
It's jealousy!
It's envy that rules their hearts.
Why, O, why?
Simply because I was loved much?
I was loved to the point of arousing jealousy among my brethren.
Is it my fault?
Were my parents to blame?
Never do I think so.
Grace Divine made it so.
That I be loved much.
And, no matter how they tried to make it secret, still would it make manifest.
For, no smoke can a hand hold.
Am I the other Joseph the Dreamer?
For, I, too, have had dreams in my sleep, dreams that came to pass, prophetic dreams.
A dreamer of prophecies?
Or: a prophet of dreams?
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God, You know better than I.