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Thursday, July 2, 2009

A dream, a diary and a cook

I had a dream a month before year 2009 began. I never realized it but the dream started to happen right after.
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This was my dream.
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I saw a hill and I was standing on the hill's foot. On top of the hill was a big tourist platform. It looked like the eyes and face of a man drooping its head to look down on me and those below. I felt it was unsafe for any tourist to go there and take a look. It was architecturally incorrect to build a structure like it, and I sensed it was going to collapse any minute. And sure, it did - bit by bit. As it started to fall, I vacated the place immediately - but I realized I had a companion, an old woman, my grandmother! I returned. I was trying to rescue her in such a way that my body was first out of the danger area. But I was wondering, "Why am I trying to rescue grandma when she's already dead long ago?" END OF DREAM.
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I remember my diary entry of January 17, 2009: it reads and I quote, "There is someone in the market who is getting on my nerves. He is a cook at an eatery next to where I take snack food for credit. When he looks at me taking food there, his eyes are insulting, looking down on me. One time, he even banged the door in my presence! They know I have my food for credit. I thought, he owns the eatery because of his arrogance. He is not! Just a cook. He has a companion who treats me the same way. When I was able to pay recently, they were like kittens, looking at me so meekly. But they know I am on credit again. They are back to 'normal.' Last night, I was tempted to display some arrogance. I tried to show off in a subtle way the envelope I had that reads CHECK ENCLOSED. Actually, the envelope was from prophet Don; and it was a faith check for P100,000. I prayed and included him and the woman in the Mass this morning. But when I saw him in the market, I was enraged again and intended to side-sweep him. I touched him only lightly in so doing. I must shoot him with many prayers and masses. Jesus, forgive and help me. I must stop going there to prevent myself from sinning." END OF ENTRY.
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But I admit I did go back there after some time - exclusively, for food. He was there, the cook. He was on my path. He never gave way. I side-pushed him and I did it intentionally. There was also a force coming from him. It was like a head-on collision. I know both of us were hurt in the process. But none complained. He went his way. I went my way. I decided never to go there again. I confessed the sin a month ago to a priest.
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Last night, I had a monthly confession during a Holy Mass. I feel so heavenly after each confession. I went back to my seat so recollected and happy. And during peace, I did a reverent peace to a familiar face, to someone standing in front of me left side. The cook!!! Yes, the cook! It was unexpected. I never knew he was there. He never knew as well I was there. And that sealed it all. We had peace together. And my name is J-O-Y! :-)
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